It takes time, LOTS of time
by Chanra
Summary: *Updated- with another author's note!!* The Elves try to teach the Fellowship Elvish, with little success. Looks like they're going to spend the rest of their LONG lives teaching, weither their students want them to or not.
1. The first attempt

It takes time, LOTS of time. A story based on Experience on Claudia's behalf  
  
"You don't expect me to memorize ALL of them, do you? If so, our friendship is at an end," Gimli cried, throwing his hands in the air.  
  
"It wasn't my idea," Legolas said, spinning around in his teacher's chair, "this is amusing." He stopped when he realized that everyone was looking at him. "Ahem. Gandalf wanted you all to learn so you could help him. We could have all been there and gone a lot faster if we could have all read the words on the Door of Moria."  
  
"Hey Elf, you should have read it instead," Aragorn shouted back. The tips of Legolas' pointy ears went red.  
  
"There will be no shouting in my classroom," he snorted as he began to write the Elvish runes on the chalk-board.  
  
"They're all the same!" Gimli screamed.  
  
"No, some of the ends are connected, and some of them aren't, that's the difference my friend," Legolas replied without turning around. A paper airplane hit him in the back of the head. Snickers went around the classroom. "Ha ha, very funny."  
  
"Aww Legolas, you're no fun anymore," Sam said, blowing a spit ball out of a straw, it missed Legolas' head by a couple of micrometers. The Elf did not flinch. He turned back around and began writing again, until he came to the X. "Umm." he thought, "oh yeah, they don't have a letter X."  
  
"Great teacher you are," Pippin spat, obviously frustrated.  
  
"You want Arwen to come?" Legolas offered.  
  
"Yes! Yes!" Aragorn shouted, obviously interested since the Elf's name came up.  
  
"She only comes when I'm on sick-leave," He said. Aragorn stood up and took out his sword from the sheath. He raised it above the Elf's head and brought it down. Legolas, sensing this the whole time, rolled out of the way. The sword made a big dent in the chalkboard.  
  
"Do you need to go to the House of Healing?" Legolas cried, dodging blows.  
  
"No, I want Arwen to come! I bet she's a better teacher than you are!"  
  
"You could have just said that!" he started to stand, but slipped on Sam's spit-ball and hit his head on the desk, losing all consciousness.  
  
"What a shame, and I was just beginning to learn," Boromir snorted.  
  
THE END  
  
Sad flappy ending, huh?  
  
It's not the end!  
  
TBC. 


	2. Elladan tries

Elrond arrived a few minutes later and dumped Legolas' unconscious body into a wheel chair. Walking into the hall, he shoved the chair, and sent in cascading down the hall, then, he went running after it.  
  
"So, no one is teaching us anymore, I guess we can go," Gimli said, getting up to leave. He stopped when another Elf blocked the Doorway.  
  
"Hello Elrohir," Aragorn greeted through his teeth.  
  
"I'm Elladan."  
  
"All the same."  
  
"What letter did Legolas get up to? I mean, before a murder attempt was put in place?" he asked, looking at the large hole in the chalk board.  
  
"X."  
  
"He always had trouble remembering that one," Elladan commented. "But there isn't an X; you can either use some other combination to make the sound of an X."  
  
"So you're the teacher now?" Aragorn said, dismay obvious in his voice, "What happened to Arwen?"  
  
"She's on holiday, you should know that, you're her husband after all," Elladan said casually, "please tell me you knew that."  
  
"Yes, yes, continue."  
  
"From what you say, it is obvious that you are not enjoying this class," Elladan commented, "you should be teaching instead. Elrond taught you Elvish when you barely knew how to stand."  
  
"And if I DID know how to stand, I would be running the other direction," Aragorn retorted, "Elvish is always so confusing."  
  
"Oh, you get used to it," Elladan replied, "Silvian is easier to learn then some other forms of Elvish."  
  
Meanwhile, Frodo silently slipped on the ring, and more noisily, got out of his desk to leave. As he was just about to exit the classroom, Elladan shut the door on his coat-tails, leaving the hobbit stuck in the doorway.  
  
"Let us continue," Elladan said to the dismay of everyone, "because learning is such a wonderful thing." Gimli grunted and Boromir rolled his eyes.  
  
Suddenly, the recess bell rings.  
  
"I expect all of you to be back to finish this class," Elladan said in a very teacher-like manner, knowing everyone had better things in mind.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED 


	3. Another Vain attempt

FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER (AFTER RECESS)  
  
"Late for class," Elladan muttered. He began to spin himself around in the chair, most amusing to Elves, so it seems.  
  
Merry and Pippin where brought in together, hustled in by dwarves. Frodo, Sam, Boromir and Gimli were hustled in afterwards. Elrohir had a black eye from someone who was very un-eager to participate in class.  
  
"Where's Aragorn?" Elladan asked his brother.  
  
"Coming."  
  
Aragorn was brought in with manacles around his wrists, four or five Orcs pushed him into the dreary classroom. "Caught doing graffiti," one explained, while opening the shackles.  
  
Elladan sighed, "By Valar, let me get through this day alive." The Fellowship was staring at him, all in desks too small for their frames, all except for the hobbits, whose legs where dangling off the floor.  
  
"I suppose you had a good recess," he said, hoping to get someone's attention. There was a loud groan that went around the class.  
  
"Frodo tried to stab me with Sting!" Boromir complained.  
  
"You tried to take the Ring from me!" Frodo retorted.  
  
"Pippin ate my bannana!"  
  
"Merry ate my mushrooms!"  
  
"Sam stepped on my garlic!"  
  
"So you all had a good recess I suppose?" Elladan asked.  
  
"Whatever," came the stark reply.  
  
"Shall I contiue with class?" Elladan asked, it was obvious it was not a question, but Aragorn answered anyway.  
  
"No! Spare us from you monotonous voice!"  
  
"I've got a headache," Elladan groaned, "I'll be right back, or someone will anyway, DON'T go anywhere."  
  
Another Elf left for the House of Healing.  
  
TO BE CONTINUTED 


	4. Two down, how many more to go?

Haldir stepped cautiously into the classroom. The students had supposedly had already sent two Elves to the House of Healing, and he didn't want to be the third.  
  
"Hello," he said slowly, westernese was not his best language, and he'd rather be speaking his native tongue.  
  
"Hi, hi, hi. Just hurry up and get this lesson over with, Arwen wants me to vacuum when I get home," Aragorn growled.  
  
Haldir stared at the Elvish runes on the chalkboard. He then wrote the English letters above them.  
  
"Master Peregrine, would you like to attempt to write your name?" Haldir offered, and handed Pippin a piece of chalk.  
  
"Sure, what the heck," Pippin said, the Lothlórien Elf got the Hobbit a stool, and Pippin, first of the Fellowship, attempted Elvish for the first time today.  
  
*30 minutes later*  
  
"Haldir, I'm done!" Pippin shouted, the Elf had his head buried in his arms while resting on the desk. There was no doubt that he was sleeping. "Strider?"  
  
Aragorn opened his eyes, "What?"  
  
"He's asleep," Pippin said, pointing an accused finger. Aragorn sighed and grabbed Haldir by the back of the neck, and threw him out the window. There is a thud serveral minutes later. The Fellowship look outside, and there they see Elrond buisily heaving the Elf into a wheel chair and taking him to the House of Healing.  
  
Aragorn rubbed his hands together, "Alright, who's next?" 


	5. Failure and Conclusion

"Let's keep it up, this way, maybe there will be no more willing Elves to teach us their boring language," Aragorn said evilly.  
  
Legolas walks into the classroom; he has a bandage wrapped around his head and a large bruise above his left eye. "Hello."  
  
"Hello Elf, come back for another round?" Gimli welcomed.  
  
Legolas went over and sat on his teacher's chair, "Elrond said I have a minor concussion, and may be mentally unstable, but otherwise, I'm fine." Falls off chair. There is no attempt to help him.  
  
"I think I'm going to be sick," Pippin groaned, "Merry's mushrooms are deadly." He then runs out into the hall, there are some gagging noises followed by a large PLOP onto the floor.  
  
"I'm going to take him to the House of Healing," Merry said, and quickly escaped the classroom.  
  
"GIVE ME THE RING!!" Boromir suddenly shouts, chasing after Frodo, they run out into the hall (the opposite way of Merry and Pippin) and are never seen again until tomorrow.  
  
"I have to go home and wash my hair, or else my 'honeydew' list will get even longer," Aragorn said, and ran down the hall.  
  
"Umm. I have to go shave!" Gimli said, and ran down the hall after him.  
  
The classroom is now empty, except for Legolas. He slowly gets up, and grabs a piece of chalk off the floor. "Thúle, E. Space Númen, ando." He writes on the board. That translates to Th E space E n d.  
  
THE END  
  
I really hoped you enjoyed that, if so, please send a REVIEW! 


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